Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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