just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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