Banned from zoo.
Again?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
