I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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