STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
