bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
