69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
