My nipple is on Facebook.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.