Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
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First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs