i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Every concussion has its silver lining
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.