Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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  (919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1183) Bad night (853)
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  (209): View more from California

  Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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  (209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd
  Replies (25) Good night (1996) Bad night (669)
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  (805): View more from California

  She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

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  (805): She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up http://tfl.nu/rsnf
  Replies (36) Good night (1044) Bad night (3721)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

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  (801): just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk http://tfl.nu/d8b4
  Replies (75) Good night (9739) Bad night (828)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.

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  (908): Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral. http://tfl.nu/35ny
  Replies (7) Good night (1656) Bad night (4112)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon

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  (773): I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon http://tfl.nu/rw5r
  Replies (10) Good night (3155) Bad night (1203)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us

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  (413): I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us http://tfl.nu/sfif
  Replies (6) Good night (675) Bad night (1166)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?

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  (631): He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he? http://tfl.nu/banx
  Replies (11) Good night (1822) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.

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  (781): Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds. http://tfl.nu/prwv
  Replies (4) Good night (1589) Bad night (640)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  her dad gauges his nipple piercings.

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  (417): her dad gauges his nipple piercings. http://tfl.nu/b294
  Replies (8) Good night (536) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (913)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

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  (801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs
  Replies (24) Good night (877) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1004) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...

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  (434): i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet... http://tfl.nu/ym2b
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.

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  (410): So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/3wul
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (112)

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