But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
