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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

  Fav 13 3875 889

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

  Fav 12 6123 1035

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  That changes everything.

  Fav 27 5344 1090

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• (631): View more from New York

  I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

  Fav 4 2623 793

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.

  Fav 3 2035 992

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

  Fav 11 930 1510

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her

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• (347): View more from New York

  you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?

  Fav 6 879 552

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• (510): View more from California

  How is your new roommate working out

  (415): View more from California

  We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

  Fav 2 1256 650

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

  Fav 2 473 755

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni

  Fav 2 458 222

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing

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