Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

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  (864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job. http://tfl.nu/97jt
  Replies (18) Good night (8288) Bad night (2045)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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  (770): Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues.... http://tfl.nu/vepi
  Replies (5) Good night (2264) Bad night (996)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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  (330): I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter http://tfl.nu/ep47
  Replies (7) Good night (3358) Bad night (1188)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.

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  (512): Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it. http://tfl.nu/4ruk
  Replies (5) Good night (2497) Bad night (840)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.

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  (808): Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you. http://tfl.nu/twhl
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (1152)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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  (575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry
  Replies (11) Good night (1515) Bad night (693)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (1269)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.

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  (281): I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed. http://tfl.nu/u1zj
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (496)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!

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  (609): So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!! http://tfl.nu/jit9
  Replies (9) Good night (1165) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.

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  (661): Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex. http://tfl.nu/usxr
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (565)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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  (225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.

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  (619): Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way. http://tfl.nu/mas5
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex

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  (702): You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex http://tfl.nu/u13m
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.

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  (781): I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today. http://tfl.nu/uj8g
  Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  New vibrator arrived today.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who are these wee mortals we call men?

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  (717): New vibrator arrived today. (1-717): How was it? (717): Who are these wee mortals we call men? http://tfl.nu/0kg2
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (105)

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