Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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  (318): i was rollin on her like bob the builder http://tfl.nu/6lwa
  Replies (3) Good night (2352) Bad night (517)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."

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  (407): I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr." http://tfl.nu/64va
  Replies (14) Good night (914) Bad night (2679)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (4876) Bad night (2644)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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  (317): my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive http://tfl.nu/067t
  Replies (31) Good night (5762) Bad night (1245)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken

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  (705): her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken http://tfl.nu/6ixh
  Replies (13) Good night (900) Bad night (3731)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (2457)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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  (314): WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT http://tfl.nu/lhuy
  Replies (3) Good night (2326) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

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  (978): As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine. http://tfl.nu/djyf
  Replies (24) Good night (2925) Bad night (1527)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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  (+61): Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever. http://tfl.nu/klad
  Replies (20) Good night (7221) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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  (541): side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children. http://tfl.nu/bng1
  Replies (2) Good night (3338) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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  (719): Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ctww
  Replies (3) Good night (1247) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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  (715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm
  Replies (11) Good night (3533) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (776): View more from

  My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

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  (776): My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today. http://tfl.nu/rxf7
  Replies (0) Good night (1014) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1278) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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  (262): You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend? (224): 50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward. http://tfl.nu/qmja
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (245)

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