): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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