After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
