Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
