We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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