Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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