He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
