dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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