I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize