don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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