no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
