And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
