She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
