I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bring me that man meat
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize