Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
