CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
