He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize