He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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