You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
