is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
