Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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