Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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