so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter