Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.