I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great