im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions