We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off