you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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