You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
do herpes really smell.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
