I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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