mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
