That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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