Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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