sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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