I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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