hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
