The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
