Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
