bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
