mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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