She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
