I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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