I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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