The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
