Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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