I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
