But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
