then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
