You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
