im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
