just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
