Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
