i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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