she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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