giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
