Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I understand Curling. That high.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
