carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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