So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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