i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
