Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
