New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize