my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
