I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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